


Heavy, Heavy Light

by hedwag



Series: fero luxem [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, BUT she ADAPTS, Eventual Romance, F/M, Female Character of Color, Gen, Hogwarts Era, Light Angst, Self-Insert, Sort of Self-Insert, What Have I Done, if you're not here for it, this is literally gonna be a romance so like, welp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-20 22:11:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13727007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hedwag/pseuds/hedwag
Summary: It was only when she woke that she realized she had died. Ash Jordan was never meant to be a character in this story; So she created a new one.******misty eyes too open, too earlylisten to the crashing waves in your father’s heartbottle up your tears, rags, pearlsuse the salt for your soft facerub away the blood in the waterreach into those waves overflowing with lightand purge the dark





	1. Chapter One - She Wakes

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter nor am I blah blah blah 
> 
> BUT I do own the bit of poetry in the summary so please credit.
> 
> *Not Beta'd so please excuse grammatical errors. I'm terrible.

 

The moment was a simple one.

 

“Would you like mummy to do your hair this time, Rosie?”

 

“Daddy could-”

 

“No.” The little girl giggled as her mother cut her father off with a sharp glance at his hand reaching for the spray bottle and hair brush brought out for the toddler's hair.

 

“Please, mummy. Buns, please” The s was drawled out with enthusiam only found in small children.

 

A small laughed escaped her mother before she sat the little girl before her and began to do just that.

 

Her mother had been brushing her hair and had tugged a little too harshly, making the small girl yelp and then suddenly-

 

_A yelp peirced the air as the blowdryer got too close to her scalp. “MA!” A sheepish laugh filled the air before a mumbled apology was covered by the loud blowing of the dryer._

 

_Her sister’s hands were always warm and she liked to settle them on her back when they hugged. Heads resting against each other for a moment._

 

“ _I love you, Tea. Have a safe drive! Call me when you get here!”_

 

_Her mother’s brown skin gleaming, white teeth shining in her wide open mouth. Laughter in the air as she spun the two girls around the kitchen. “Are y’all too old to dance with your momma?”_

 

_Her parents hadn’t been together for as long as she could remember, but what she would always remember is her father's laugh. It starts out loud and cracking, whipping through the air like someone was forcing it out of him. Everyone always said she inherited it from him._

 

_She remembered laughing at her sister’s worried tone on the phone, not maliciously...but maybe carelessly._

 

“ _I will, Ra! Yeah, yeah. I’ll be there before you know it.”_

 

She came back to herself to the sound of wailing and darkness. A black world surrounded her as the piercing sound made her ears ring with pain that radiated throughout her entire body. She felt hands tugging her hands away from her hair? When had they got there?

 

Panicked voices surrounded her and she just wanted her mom. Her dad. But most of all she wanted her sister, Hera, who meant the world to her.

 

Her eyes were closed. She opened them and realized that it was her. She was the one screaming.

 

There was a woman was in front of her, holding her fighting hands. She was beautiful with a small but wide nose. Doe dark brown eyes, similar to her mother, and dreads that danced around her shoulders. A man was standing behind her, his eyes wide, his form rigid. He was tall, much taller than her – when did she get so small?- with dark brown skin, contrasting the lighter shade of brown skin the woman had. He was bald, but his eyes were a green-gray that reminded her of the dirty lake near her father’s house.

 

“Ash, what’s wrong? Mummy is so so sorry. She didn’t mean to tug your hair so hard. Shhh shhh shhh.” The woman (Mummy?) held her close to her chest, a hand – the wrong hand- running over her back . She was being rocked back and forth and, for some reason, that made her cry harder.

 

“I’m lost….I’m lost. I’m lost.” She garbled out between sobs, causing the woman and the man hovering over them freeze.

 

“Why am I here?”

 

_She remembered thinking that the rain had come out of nowhere, unable to see twenty feet in front of her car. She thought about pulling over and waiting it out but never got the chance._


	2. Chapter Two - The Jordans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash reflects.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /still not beta'd l o l

Ash Jordan had a loving family. Like most young children her age, Ash thought her parents were the best in the world. They loved her dearly and it showed in everything they did. As she grew older, Ash would understand that her mother, Hestia, had a hard time getting pregnant and before discovering their daughter existed, they had given up hope on having children.

Her father, Parker, was an orphan with no family to speak of. He never mentioned much about his childhood to his daughter which made her assume it wasn’t a very pleasant one. Her father went as far as taking his wife’s surname as if to separate himself from his past.

Her mother’s family, however, was large, cheerful, and colorful. Growing up, she was constantly surrounded by cousins, both older and younger than her, who were always willing to fight in the mud and muck up the carpets. She had a family with a range of pale to dark brown skin with big smiles and booming laugher. Aunts and uncles who could make colorful fireworks with the wave of a hand.

It was when she was five that Ash Jordan realized she was not a normal child.

Ash knew she wasn’t normal even though everyone around her seemed to carry on as if she was. Since a strange episode when she was younger, Ash was aware that this was not the first life that she had lived. She couldn’t recall much of that very first onslaught of memories, other than screaming and eventually coming to laying in her bed with her mom and dad hovering over her. Their eyes lidded with a weariness that hadn’t been there before.

Since then, she could recall flashes of someone else who had lived another life much different from her own. As a young child, it was a sudden and strange experience that was hard for her to process. It revealed itself in fits that Ash couldn’t control, where her mum or dad would just hold her as she screamed out her grief for a life that ended abruptly. There were random moments where she found herself unexplainably sad and lost, unable to finish simple things like brushing her teeth without breaking out in sobs because she heard the echo of a laugh that belonged to a girl she would never see again.

When Ash finally began to understand what was happening to her, she was nine years old. She shared it with her parents. She was child who had lived a life before and she knew what hiding a secret could do to the people around you. She saw her parents suffering, unable to help the young child they had sought so hard to have.

Her parents didn’t ask for this, she thought back then, and for a time, she didn’t deserve them. It seemed like a curse to have died with a loving family and to be given a brand new one when you didn’t want it in the first place. So, she was shared her past, hoping that it would create distant between these new parents, who loved her too much.

It didn’t. Hestia and Parker only seemed to love her even more.

“Oh, Rosie.” Parker clutch the girl to his broad chest as Hestia made a wounded sound from her seat beside her daughter. Ash tried to fight the hold the man had on her before Hestia caught her fighting hands and wrapped her arms around her little family.

“Rosie, you’re always going to be our daughter. Galatea was always meant to be part of our family.” Ash froze, breath hitched, upon hearing her old name from the lips of her new mother. As she released the breath shaky with sobs and her hands clutching the hands of the woman who cradled them as if they were made of glass, her mother muttered into her hair:

“Let’s breathe her into life now, shall we?”

It seemed fitting that a woman named Hestia would breathe new life, breathe warmth into a girl once named Galatea.

 

* * *

 

Surprisingly, it wasn’t her aunts and uncles creating magical colorful fireworks that made her realize that she wasn’t just reborn, but she had been place in a world that was previously fiction to her. The realization came in the shape of a certain boy with a strange fascination with spiders.

“Your hair is unkept and dry.” The older boy said with an exaggerated sneer that caused Ash to immediately release pearls of laugher.

The boy held his haughty pose and face, face twitching while the girl clutched her stomach in laughter.

“I told your aunt that dreads are-“ The boy’s tone became even more exaggerated and he began to shake his finger at Ash.

“STOP. Please, I’m dying. I can’t breathe.” Ash gasped out between breaths, causing the boy the finally crack and join her in laugher. The two kids collapsed together on the couch, small giggles escaping as laughter died down.

“Grandma Fran-“ Ash started with a blinding smile, turning to her cousin.

“Sucks.” Lee finished with a giant grin, brushing his dreads back from his face. Ash covered her mouth as giggles erupted from her all over again.

“I just don’t understand why she _still_ hates dreads. Aunt Hest has had them for-for forever.” Lee stated, stretching his arms out, nearly knocking his cousin in the face which earned him an annoyed, “OI!”.

“Yeah, yeah,” Ash stated pushing Lee’s hand away from her face with a sneer, “but yours are a bit messy.”

“Messy!?” Lee immediately squawked, diving for his cousin as she jumped off the couch.  “Have you seen your hair?!”

“OI! My hair is just fine!” Ash’s hair that day had refused to be tamed, the tight spiral curls exploding around her head like a cloud, brushing her shoulders lightly. She refused to acknowledge the fact that she had ran from her mum when she had been attempting to wrangle the girl’s hair into a bun.

“Yeah, as fine as a monkey’s ars- “

“Lee Isaac Jordan, if you finish that sentence, I’m going to wash your mouth with soap.” Hestia Jordan blocked her daughter’s escape to the kitchen, arms crossed over her chest. She glared at the two with narrowed dark brown eyes, a few dreads escaping the bun she had placed them as she cooked.

Ash and Lee shared a look of horror, flashing back to when her mother really _did_ wash their mouths with soap. Hestia snorted, making her way back into the kitchen where Lee’s father and Hestia’s twin, Attis, could be heard laughing.

“Now wash up for dinner. Ash, your father should be home soon.” The sound of pounding feet resounded through the house as the children made their way up the stairs to follow her instructions.

“What has Parker been up to lately?”

“Attis, you know Parker works for the Department of Mysteries. No one is quite sure what goes on in there. Just last week, he tried to tell me about this hedger was that charmed to decapitate-“

“ ** _Wicked_.** ” The two adults jumped, spinning around to see the two children standing around in the doorway with stars in their eyes. The kids traded a look of awe before Lee turned to his dad with narrowed eyes.

“Dad, why aren’t you as cool as Parker?” Attis sputtered indignantly in response which was promptly ignored as Ash turned to her cousin with bright eyes and a mischievous grin.

“Do you think we could- “

“OH. Yes, Law leaves his- “

“Doesn’t he have a garden in- “

“Right, so when Auntie Max comes next week-“

“ _Excellent_.” The two shared a grin that spoke of trouble. The two adults traded an exasperated look before turning to the two in unison and saying,

“Don’t even think about it.”

“Mum, Decapitation-”

“Dad, we could- “

“Decapitation?!” Parker Jordan’s deep voice cut through the children’s desperate rambling. Hestia greeted her husband with a grin her daughter inherited before kissing his cheek.

“Welcome home, love.” 

 

* * *

 

Gatalea was a young woman with a full life ahead of her. She had a loving family and a sister who was the best friend she could ever ask for. She died leaving behind too much of herself to ever feel like an entire person.

Ash Jordan was a young girl with a lifetime of memories. She had a large family full of love and support who cradled the fragile pieces of her. A family that loved the Gatalea pieces of her that came with the rebirth and Ash pieces that fit in the cracks.

Ash had been surrounded by love in her pervious life and this life was no different, she thought, watching her family finish up the delicious dinner her mother created. Laughter filled the air as much as conversation did. She watched her mother pull out the slender stick holding her dreads in the bun. With a wave of the stick, the dinnerware was cleared, and a beautiful cake was pulled from the counter stop to rest on the table.

“Now who wants dessert?” Hestia grinned at the eager hands reaching for a slice.

But magic? Ash thought as she slapped her cousin’s hand away from her piece. That was something she had never experienced before.

 

 


	3. Chapter Three - The Departure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash tried to hold it together but, if Lee’s laughter told her anything, she was utterly failing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still not beta'd so I apologize for any mistakes, grammatically or otherwise.

Ash tried to hold it together but, if Lee’s laughter told her anything, she was utterly failing. She covered her face in embarrassment, wishing she was anywhere but in a crowded platform where everyone could see her mortifying reaction to her cousin’s departure.

“Ash, baby, you’re going to see Lee during Christmas.” Attis tried to reassure the girl but Ash’s sobs seemed to only increase with the reminder that she would see her cousin in four months. Not tomorrow, not in a week, but _four_ months.

“I-I know” She mumbled through her hands, embarrassed she was reacting to Lee’s going to Hogwarts so strongly. She felt small hands pull her into a hug, the warm body still trembling with laugher.

“Ashy Ash…” Lee tried to smother his laughter into his cousin’s shoulder. Ash moved her hands to his back, clutching the back of his jumper. They held each other as Ash’s cries subsided, the adults hovering over the two.

Lee and Ash did not siblings, just other cousins growing up. Their other cousins were fine, Ash thought as she gripped his shirt even tighter, but Lee was different.

It was always Lee and Ash. Ash and Lee. It was a result of their parents being twins, Hestia and Attis wanted to make sure their children had a close relationship like their own. Having children less than a year apart, they were sure they would be able to send their children off to Hogwarts at the same time.

Unfortunately, Ash’s birthday was just after the cut off for that year of Hogwarts’ first year students. So, when the summer had passed by without a letter addressed to Ash, the adults knew there was going to be trouble. This would be the one thing the duo would start without the other right behind them.

It seemed that no one quite knew what to do with a crying Ash Jordan though.

“You’re being a big baby, Ashy Ash.” Lee said firmly, moving back from their embrace. Ash stared back at him, shocked, before catching the familiar spark of laughter still dancing in his dark eyes. Ash started to smile in response before her mother spoke.

“ ** _Lee_ -**” Hestia started, surprised the normally genial boy would say something so careless to his cousin.

“Mum, it’s fine.” Ash said, turning to her mum with a grin that crinkled the corners of her eyes.

“I mean, this means I get to see Montrose Magpies games without Lee’s big head blocking the view.”

“OI! My big head?! Your hair alone blocks the view of at least two rows behind us!”

“Why do you always bring my hair into this? My hair is perfectly neat.” Ash ran a hand over the two large cornrows her mum absolutely did _not_ help her with this morning. (She did.)

 Lee’s outrageous laughter rang through the platform just as the whistle blew for the students to climb aboard.

“I’m never helping you twist your dreads again.”

 

* * *

 

“Lee recently told me that he made some new friends at Hogwarts.” Parker said to his distracted daughter. Ash was currently kneeling near the bottom of the lemon tree in their backyard. The father-daughter duo had been collecting some lemons for Hestia to make some of her famous lemonade. The late fall air was perfect for picking and awkward concerned parent conversations

“Yeah, some red-heads? They sound lame.” Ash mumbled back at her father, knowing perfectly well who her cousin had befriended. She knew this story like the back of her hand. It didn’t make her feel any better. She walked back toward her father, dropping her lemons in the basket beside him. She squinted at him, suspicious of his intentions in bringing up Lee so soon after he had left.

“Ash, I know you miss Lee-“

“I don’t miss that big-headed boy.” Ash said with a sneer, turning her back towards her father to kneel back at the bottom of the tree.

“Is that why you’ve been trying to catch that spider for the last fifteen minutes.” Parker deadpanned, not amused by his daughter’s attempt to dismiss the conversation. Ash froze, her cupped hands stilling in the air where a small spider was dangling between them. She stood quickly and faced her father, nearly causing the spider to fall into her wild mane of hair she hadn’t bothered trying to tame that morning.

“I just want to make him jealous with _my_ new spider collection. Much better than some red-headed twins, or some quidditch obsessed girl.” Ash said, ignoring the fact that she was also obsessed with quidditch and she was not at all pouting. No, sir.

 Parker smothered a laugh before bringing the girl into a hug that she instantly melted into. Resting his head on top of his daughter, he couldn’t help but note how tall she had gotten in the last year. She was a little below to her mother’s shoulders now, who was not a short woman at 5’9’. Soon enough, he thought wistfully, he won’t be able to tuck her into his arms.

“Dad, you’re gone.” Parker was brought of his wandering by Ash’s laughing voice. Ash grinned up at her dad, chin resting in the middle of his chest. He only pulled her in tighter, causing Ash to squirm.

“Dad! Dad, let me go.”

“Not until you stop being a brat and admit you miss your cousin.” Ash deflated immediately, sighing.

“Okay, so I miss him a little. I just didn’t think...I would miss him this much.” Parker released his daughter at those words, cupping her face in his large hands. Her green-gray eyes, a color she inherited from him, gleamed with unshed tears. He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead before mumbling against the skin.

“I’m sure Lee misses you just as much, Rosie.” The soft way her father said her nickname made Ash bury her face into his chest again, bypassing the hands holding her face. Ash obnoxiously sniffed his shirt, the familiar smell of their laundry detergent calming her.

“You think so?” Parker hid an indulgent smile into her wild hair.

“I know so.”

“Good, that means I won’t have to release these spiders into his bed before Christmas.”

“Ash Rosa Jordan, if I see you even near a spider before your cousin comes home, I swear to Merlin I will-“

“Mum! Dad’s eye is twitching again!”

 

* * *

 

 

“So how is it?” Ash asked, suddenly. Lee looked up from his comic book to look towards his cousin who was rubbing leave-in conditioner in her wet hair, side-eyeing him from her vanity. Lee gave her a measured look back, knowing immediately what she was referring to. Ash tried to let Lee enjoy his holiday home. It had become clear as soon as they picked up Lee that he had missed his family just as much as they missed him.

It was easy for Ash to forget that her silly cousin was still a child. That she was just a child here.

However, Ash has never been patient in either of her lives. She was curious about Hogwarts, a place that she had only read about in a life that was completely different from this one. Her parents tried to sate her need to know everything about British magical history, and even a bit of the magical communities in Northern Africa where some of the Jordans resided. Her life here had been filled with different stories of all the magical schools her family had attended. Her mother and father had both attended Hogwarts, but this was different. Lee was going to school with people Ash was familiar with through a story that meant the world to her.

She wanted a first-hand account of the story that was about to begin right before her eyes.

“It’s fine.” Lee said nonchalantly to her annoyance. Ash placed her wide-toothed comb on the vanity with a huff, turning to fully face her grinning cousin. She glared at him, attempting to intimidate him into giving her details.

Lee sighed, closing his book realizing that Ash was in no mood for a joke. Ash quickly moved to sit next to her cousin on the bed, after giving her door a quick glance to make sure it was closed. While her parents did give her _some_ information about Hogwarts, they were a bit tip-lipped about the school wanting Ash to experience it for herself.

“It’s beautiful. The Great Hall ceiling is enchante-“ Lee started grinning when he saw Ash’s visible frustration.

“ENCHANTED. I know! I don’t need a review from some housing magazine. I want to know what you _learned_. What pranks did you pull? Does anyone else have dreads? Is Oliver really that obsessed with quidditch? OH! Who’s commentating-Did you see if you could? Are the twins really that funny-“

“Ash, Ash!” Lee cut her off, covering her mouth with his hand which she immediately licked in response. He wiped the spit across her duvet, earning a punch in the arm. Rubbing his arm while glaring at her, Lee spoke again.

“You know the core subjects of magic from Aunt Hestia and Dad, Hogwarts just expands on those more. Charms is easily the most fascinating. Did you know that wand movement is used to as way to channel your-” Lee’s tone took on a didactic note that was clearly learned from his father, whom oversaw the pair’s early magical education.  

The Jordans prided themselves in their wide-knowledge of the different disciplines of magic. Hestia and Attis especially wanted to make sure their children were prepared for whatever Hogwarts threw at them. Along with enrolling their children in the local muggle primary school, the children were also forced to spend at least two hours a day with Attis where he taught them beginner theories of most of the subject Hogwarts would expand on. Without wands, the kids couldn’t have practical lessons (as far as their parents were concerned anyway) but with Lee going to Hogwarts, Ash wanted to make sure her cousin was on top of his studies and that he was using the knowledge from their parents to his advantage.

Even if that knowledge was not necessarily used in class.

“You know that spell Dad told us about, the one Hestia used to wash our mouths with soap? The twins and I-, you know the bloke I told you about? The one that looks like a cross-bred troll?” Lee’s tone had quickly at the mention of a prank he pulled with Weasley Twins, who were not lame she loathed to admit.

“Marcus Flint?” Ash asked with snicker.

“Yea! Fred-“

“He didn't!” The pair released loud peals of laughter that they tried to smother immediately. Their snickers rang through the air before Ash spoke with a grin.

“So did you look into commentating?” Lee’s eyes light up with such joy that Ash’s grin immediately softened. There was nothing like seeing her cousin in person, she thought with eyes glued to her cousin’s face as he launched into a story that involved him attempting to convince McGonagall that he would be the perfect commentator for Quidditch next year.

 

* * *

 

It seemed as if they were just dropping Lee off, thought Ash as she waited with her parents and Lee’s father at the platform. Summer holiday was beginning for the Hogwarts students who were pouring out of the train. Ash stood on her tiptoes trying to find her cousin the mass of people in the station. She had noticed a cluster of red-heads standing near her family but was doing her best to ignore the big Plot standing there.

“ **ASHY ASH**!” The roar came from her older cousin who had gotten even taller in the few months since she had seen him.

With a grin as big as the sun, Ash threw herself into Lee’s open arms, knocking him into two red-haired on either side of him. Lee’s obnoxious laugh was loud in her ears, but she couldn’t bring herself to get mad. She smothered her face into his shoulder, ignoring the blur of tears in her eyes.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here? Is this-“

“lovely lady the cousin with the, now what was it that you said-“

“Dry, messy hair with no hopes of every controlling it?”  The twins finished together with grins that spelled trouble. They had finished each other’s sentences easily, without pause or hesitation. Ash and Lee pulled apart, with her staring outright at the Plot her cousin had gotten involved with. Well, at least she did until their words caught up with her.

She turned to her cousin with a glare that gave Lee the faint taste of soap in his mouth.

“What did you say about my hair?” Ash gritted out at him. Lee immediately turned to his father for help, only for his father to shake his head in response. With a shrug, Lee turned back to his cousin with a smirk and proceeded to lose his mind.

“I was just commenting on your tenacity and drive with a hopeless cause.” Ash went to jump on her cousin when a woman’s voice saved his life.

“Fred! George! Come on now, Ginny isn’t feeling too well, and I want to take her ho- Oh! Well, hello.” The red-haired woman stopped at seeing her boys standing with the small family. She seemed to have a trail of red-heads following behind her all in varying ages and sizes.

“Oh well, I'm Molly Weasley. How do you do? I hope my boys aren't troubling you.” As Molly reached out her hand to introduce herself to Ash and Lee’s parents, Ash used the moment to observe the other children. There were two little ones, a boy and girl who were bombarding the eldest one with a barrage of questions while another boy with glasses was standing firmly behind his mother impatiently. The eldest one looked at his siblings with a soft grin and it was that grin that caught Ash’s attention immediately.

He stood, on the shorter side with a stocky build. His red hair was slicked back from his face messily revealing bright smiling blue eyes. He had changed out of his school robes into a fitted worn t-shirt, and jeans that hugged his-

“ ** _Ash_**.” Lee’s voice cut through the girl’s ogling making her realize that she had been blatantly staring at this boy for at least minute, judging by the looks everyone was giving her. Feeling her face get hot and silently thankful for her darker skin, the eleven-year-old bared her teeth at her cousin.

“What do you want, you big-headed-“

“AND we’re heading home.” Hestia was quick to cut her daughter off with a smile that made Ash cringe back. The smile crinkled the skin around Hestia’s eyes so much, they almost appeared as if they were closed. Something that only spelled trouble for Ash.

“It seems as though my daughter has lost her mind, Molly. We should get her home immediately. It was so nice to meet you and your family. We look forward to seeing you some time in the summer, yes? We need to talk about the fudge you sent Lee for Christmas.” Hestia’s genial tone did not change at all, but it felt strangely like her mother was yelling at her.

Faint laughter floated to her ears from the direction of the gathered red-headed family, specifically the twins and Lee. A glare from her shut the them up immediately, leaving only the oldest boy laughing under his breathe. Green-gray clashed with blue, causing her face to get hot all over again. She felt her mother tug on the back of her shirt to pull her away from her staring. She tried to not look back at the Weasleys as her family began to leave the platform.

This was not how she imagined this meeting going. Nor was she expecting Charlie Weasley to look like _that._

Puberty was a bitch.

“Ash Rosa Jordan, what the _hell_ is wrong with you? You spend nearly the entire year moping around the house because your cousin is gone and the first thing you do when you see him _is_  attempt to maul him? Can’t believe you would embarrass your father and me- Actually, I can believe it! When we get home, I am going to-“ Ash cringed away from her mother and looked to her father for help.

Parker grinned down at his daughter with a helpless shrug, cementing the pain her behind would feel later.


	4. Chapter Four - Making Lemonade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash begins her real journey to Hogwarts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa so sorry but i'm BACK. I've been hit with a muse but anyway this is a much longer chapter then the others I've posted.  
> ALSO I posted a smutty one-shot of future Ash and Charlie which is in Part of the Whole, the second part of the series, if anyone is interested. 
> 
> Please note that I will be making slight changes to the previous chapters, mostly grammatical as I see them in my rereads. The same can be said about this chapter as well.  
> still no beta so sorry for any mistakes. please review!!

Ash had assumed the summer before her first year at Hogwarts would be full of time with her parents, who would be without their only child for the first time in nearly twelve years. Lee would be excited to spend plenty of time with his favorite cousin, and her entire summer would be filled with family, love, and her mum’s good cooking.

Unfortunately, that was not the case.

“FRED! Ash vanished again!” Ginny Weasley’s shrill voice came from the bottom the lemon tree found in the Jordan’s backyard. Ash glared down at the girl from her hidden place within the branches, using the blooming flowers as a shield.

As she yanked some of her wild hair caught in one of the branches, Ash despaired being found by the menace known as young Ginny Weasley.

‘Why couldn’t she just blush and run away from me?’ Ash lamented to herself.

When Ash and Ginny first met, the younger girl immediately grew attached to the fierce girl who tried to beat up her cousin in a crowded platform. Ginny practically had stars in her eyes when they saw each other again earlier into the summer.

Honestly, it made Ash uncomfortable. Ash had never been good with attention and Ginny was _seriously_ craving female company.

Ginny was adorable, she thought, with her red hair trailing behind her in twin plaits and an old shirt dirtied with mud from both the Weasley and Jordan garden. She was also a very determined young girl, Ash thought as she watched Ginny recruit one of her brothers in her search.

Ash could hear Molly with her mother through kitchen window, laughing like young school girls as they traded recipes and stories of their children. Lee was still near the garden, attempting to show Percy and Ron the spiders he and Ash had collected over the years with George snickering over his shoulder at Ron’s rapidly paling face.

Ash vehemently tried not to think of the last brother, who rarely showed up to these little visits that had been happening over the summer.

Just reflecting on her first meeting with him made Ash want to become one with the branches. Her mother, after reaming her for embarrassing both herself and Lee, had decided to tease Ash all summer for staring at the boy, and ignoring him whenever he did come around.

Consequently, Ash’s father had decided it was time to give her the _talk_. Hestia, Parker, and Attis had joined together in a group effort to give both Lee and Ash the sexual education of their lives. Despite the many protest between the two pre-teens, the parents took sadistic pleasure in making the two of them squirm. Ash and Lee were convinced that they had drawn diagrams to punish the two for the way they acted on the platform. The twelve and eleven-year-old were so horrified of the diagrams that they avoided each other for a week afterwards.

Getting the ‘As you grow, your body changes’ talk a second time did not make it any less embarrassing.

Her thoughts quieted as she settled into her favorite tree, Ginny Weasley be damned. She closed her eyes, resting her back against the trunk as a cool summer breeze rustled the leaves and blooming flowers.

‘Honestly, he isn’t even that good-looking’, she denied. ‘I mean, who cares if he’s a really good seeker, or he wears his shirts a little tight. Or that one time she and Lee were over at the Weasleys, they went to the swimming hole near the Burrow and Charlie took off his-‘

“You know, she’s going to find you eventually.” The deep voice startled her from her ridiculous thoughts causing the branches around her to shake. Ash looked down and saw Charlie Weasley looking up at her from the bottom of the tree, somehow finding her amongst the branches.

Ash felt her entire body heat up in response to both her thoughts and his sudden presence and cursed puberty once again.

‘Body, control yourself. He’s just a stupid boy,’ she thought as he grinned up at her in response to her fierce glare.

“Go away.” She whispered furiously, not wanting Ginny to investigate why her brother was talking up at a tree. In response, Charlie looked both ways before beginning to climb the tree.

Scrambling to bring herself upright on the branch, Ash immediately began to whisper yell at him.

“What are you doing? Are you crazy? I swear to Merlin, if you kill some of the blossoms, my mom will-“

“Hold your hippogriffs.” Charlie huffed as he stopped to take a seat on the branch where Ash was residing. The branch shook as he sat down, glancing around at the unusual lemon tree they were sitting in.

Ash was sure her father had taken the sapling of this tree from the Department of Mysteries as it was thick and tall, not at all like the lemons trees her aunts and uncles had that were borderline bushes.

The tall tree produced blossoms that were an unusual shade of lavender, but the fruit were a normal, bright yellow you would see anywhere. Magic was amazing, Ash thought as she found herself looking at the tree along side Charlie.

“So tell me why you’re avoiding Ginny….and most of us, really.” Charlie said, no, more like ordered. It startled Ash enough to return her gaze to his face only to find him already looking at her. They started at each other for a minute before Ash scoffed in his direction.

“Excuse me? _You_ hold your hippogriffs. You come into my tree, uninvited like some uncivilized-“

“Ash.” He cut her off causing her to huff in annoyance, earning a smirk in response. She glanced away from his stupid smirking face and looked down at the green grass below them. She could see the book she had abandoned in her escape from Ginny laying there face down. Hogwarts: A History seemed like it was frowning at her.

“Why do I need to explain myself to you?” Ash grumbled at him and Hogwarts: A History, “Go seek a dragon or something.”

“A dragon? Why would I go chase a- _Seek_ a dragon? Merlin, was that a pun?“

“And aren’t you a little too old to be ‘sitting in a tree’ with me. Don’t think I won’t scream-“

“Wait-what are you talking about-what does that mean-“

“I’m only twelve-“

“And very sure of yourself. I don’t think I like what you’re implying-“

“You seem the type, who those frankly ridiculous arms and stupid red-hair -“

“My hair has nothing to do with-“

“It has EVERYTHING to do with the fact that you won’t leave me alone.” Ash finished with a near shout. Charlie’s stupid mouth didn’t help matters, she thought, watching his stupid grin get wider at her glaring.

Everything about Charlie Weasley was _stupid_. Being twelve again with hormones raging through her body was also _stupid_.

Fed up with her own traitorous thoughts, Ash began to climb down the tree.

“Where are you going?” Charlie called as she neared the bottom of the tree. Ash ignored him as she jumped the rest of the way down. Landing next to her book with a long-suffering sigh, she readied herself for what was inevitable now that she was in plain sight.

“ **ASH!** Ash, where did you go?” Coming in hot, nine-year old Ginny Weasley immediately latched onto Ash like a koala. Ash plastered on a grin for the excited girl, whose rambling about a pick-up game of quidditch blocked out the faint noise of something moving amongst the leaves.

Before Charlie could jump nearly on top of them, Ash steered Ginny towards the shed where her family kept the spare brooms. She did not spare the teenager a glance back despite feeling his eyes burn into her back.

 

* * *

 

The gleaming silver eyes staring back at her were…strange to say the least. Nothing could have quite prepared her for her encounter with Ollivander as he did not take his eyes off of her since she had stepped into the store with Lee.

Their parents had gone to Flourish and Blotts to pick up the school books for the children, leaving the two to get Ash’s wand. Honestly, at the time Ash was very excited to get her wand with the person in this world who she would say she felt closest too.

But this strange man, whose piercing and solemn gaze followed her as she waited for him to be finished with his current customer, made her uneasy.

She suddenly realized that she had not gone to Ollivander with Lee last year when he had gotten his wand. She had been too interested in Obscurus Books, which hadn’t been mentioned all that often in the books as she had remembered them. Ash had always been a heavy reader, this new life hadn’t changed that. At the time, she had been a little upset that she had missed what she thought was a monumental moment for her cousin; however, now….she was glad she had missed it for it saved her having to deal with this man who didn’t seem quite right.

Or maybe...he knew that _she_ wasn’t quite right.

It wasn’t quite a stand-off between the two, but a weird current filled the air. Ash almost felt as if the magic in the shop was buzzing in the air, making her feel as though her ears were stuffed with cotton.

The bell from the door startled her out of the daze, the ring as the family left the shop confirming the fact that Lee and Ash were alone with the wand-maker. Finally breaking eye-contact with the still watching man, she turned to her cousin only to see him examining one of the precariously leaning towers of wands further back in the shop. Lee seemed impervious to the strange atmosphere and Ash cursed her cousin’s sometimes oblivious nature.

“Well, aren’t you interesting?”

Ollivander’s voice seemed to pour out into the air between them. Ash felt the whisper surround her and brush down her spine in a chill. She pretended not to hear the man, as she tried to drift toward her cousin.

The man cut in between her and her cousin, somehow steering her toward the counter. She felt strangely trapped and her wide-eyed stare seemed to startle Ollivander. He took a step away from her before retreating behind his counter, leaving plenty of space between the two of them.

His place behind the counter also gave him a slight height advantage but he didn’t to utilize it. Instead he hunched down into himself almost as if he was attempting to make himself seem smaller. Ash appreciated the effort but she still drew herself closer to her cousin who had wandered back toward her.

“First wand?” Ollivander stated, very obviously. Lee seemed to finally pick up on the weird atmosphere as he deliberately brushed his shoulder against his cousin’s before speaking.

“Yea, yea. Ashy Ash is finally joining us more privileged folk at Hogwarts.” Lee’s obnoxious laughter did nothing to disperse the atmosphere, causing it to linger awkwardly in the air as it died out.

“Actually,” Ash’s voice seemed loud over her _still_ buzzing ears, even as she determinedly started at the box just slightly above Ollivanders’ wispy hair. “I think I remember mum mentioning some other wand sh-shop. We shouldn’t waste your time. You probably have other costumers to attend to.”

There was a queer silence that settle in the completely empty store as Ash mentally screamed at herself for the lame excuse.

“Wha-What? What other wand shop?” Lee’s incredulous voice cut her off, causing Ash to whip around to glare at her cousin.

“You know, the one _not here-_ ” Ash began to grit out between clenched teeth before the soft noise of something hitting the counter cut her off.

Both Jordans turned to Ollivander who had placed a single wand box on the counter between him and them. Ash stared at the box as the buzzing grew louder. The wand inside was long and slender, nearly a foot in length. The ash wood swirled in a mixture of dark grays and browns that twisted with a small burl toward the end.

“Try this one.” Ollivander didn’t really speak above a whisper, but to Ash, it was as if he had shouted. She could feel his weighted gaze and the very air seemed to press down on her. Magic was everywhere in the air, she felt as though she would suffocate if she breathed in too quickly.

Feeling like an observer of her own body, she reached for the wand and when her finger tips brushed against it, the buzzing stop. The air immediately grew lighter, and she gasped loudly. Her hand curved around the wand, the burl in the wood resting above her fist. Her body felt warm as she pulled the wand closer to her chest and it was only Lee’s hand on her shoulder that made her realize that she was still standing in the quiet shop with a strange man and her cousin.

“Ash, are you okay?” Lee’s dark gaze caught hers, switching between the wand and her own eyes. She smiled at her cousin, small and soft, still startled from how _right_ this wand felt in her hand.

“Yea, just- I mean, I just-” Ash’s voice trembled as she tried to find the words to describe what just happened.

“Ash wood. Phoenix Feather. 11 ½ inches.” Ollivander finally straighten to his full height somewhat towering over the pair from behind the counter. His silver eyes gleamed down at Ash who finally met his gaze unafraid. She felt powered with the slender wood in her grip and Ollivander’s eyes danced in response to her courage.

“Interesting. Very interesting indeed. You see, Ms. Jordan, the phoenix whom feather I used for that particular wand was in the process of rebirth. In the midst of its ashes….was that single feather.” At this, Ollivander leaned down to tap the wand still cradled in Ash’s fist. Ash stopped herself from flinching back, feeling as though she was standing on the edge of a cliff when Ollivander spoke again.

“As I grasped the feather, the chick broke through the ashes reborn anew. I do wonder….what that says about you, Ash Jordan.” Ollivander drew away from her, meeting her gaze one more time before turning to the register seemingly done with Ash’s presence in his store.

“That’ll be seven galleons then.”

 

* * *

 

“Ash, what was that about? It felt almost as if-”

“Lee...ju-just forget it.. Can you not mention this anyone, please?”

There was a pause before a heavy sigh filled the air.

“ Yea, yea. Honestly, I can’t believe you got your wand on the first go. I went through at least ten when I was got mine.”

“The wands probably couldn't feel your core through all that ego.”

“OI!”

 

* * *

 

The whistle of the train could be heard over the chattering of all the gathered families in the platform. People of different ages gathered around to see the student of Hogwarts off to a brand new year of school. Some children were returning to school after their long summer break, others would be making the journey to Hogwarts for the very first time.

“I just want to make sure you have everything. You packed your wand, yes? Don’t forget to wear your bonnet at night and please let me know when you run out of conditioner. You know your hair needs it more than most-” Her mother’s rambling was cute, Ash thought, as her mum’s hands ran over her own handy work atop Ash’s head. Ash’s hair was slicked back into a braided bun that had gold jewelry woven through that sparkled in the light. Her mother wanted her to make a good impression on her whoever her house mates ended up being.

“Rose, are you listening to me? You’re getting that glassy-eyed look that you unfortunately inherited from your father-”

“Hey, don’t bring me into this!” Parker stated indignantly, frowning at the back of his wife’s head. Hestia steamed rolled right over him, still patting Ash down as if she was concealing some kind of weapon.

“Rose, I mean it. Don’t cause any trouble for your professors and-” Ash and Lee shared a grin so wicked that Attis swatted their heads almost immediately.

“And be sure to write if you don’t have enough sweaters, it’ll start to get chiller late September and-”

“Mum! Mum, please. I got this.” Ash reassured her mother, who was making as if to take her trunk right off the cart to check for said sweaters.

Hestia stilled from where she was reaching for her daughter’s trunk. She stood straight to looked down at her only child, her daughter, who looked back at her with a face remarkably like her own. It seemed as if the only thing Ash got from her father was his temperament and his eyes.

Her daughter stood there, dressed in striped ribbed turtleneck top with short-overalls on top and her white converses were just as beat up as ever, dirt from their garden turning the bottom of the shoes brown. Large gold hoops hung from her ears, matching the little jewels in her hair that twinkled just as much as the giant grin on her face. Her gray-green eyes were nearly closed with the force of her grin and almost immediately Hestia felt tears flood her eyes.

“Oh dear.” Parker mumbled, quickly pulling his wife close as she began to weep, Attis hovering over his sister as she tried to gather herself together. Lee and Ash traded a look of horror, not use to this kind of emotion coming from Ash’s mother who was more prone to just frowning disapprovingly at them for their antics.

“I just...it’s been 12 years already.” Hestia hiccuped, causing the two pre-teens to take a step back as if her emotions were contagious.

“Our little girl, our little flower. She’s going to Hogwarts, love.” Hestia wiped her face with the handkerchief Attis handed her, gaining a strange look from Lee and Ash.

“Dad, where did that come from? What are you? Some kind of principal?”

“Lee, where on earth-Principal? Do you even know what a principal is?”

“I know, love. I know. It feels like it was only yesterday, Ash and Lee were running around naked covered in mud, trying to make each other eat ants.”

“Of course I know what a principal is. Ash told me.”

“I most certainly did not! Dad, we talked about the ants. We said we would never mention this-”

“Remember when Ash first showed signs of magic?”

“And she vanished Lee’s little afro right off his head”

“What’s wrong with me having a handkerchief? You make me seem so uncool.”

“That’s because you _are_ not cool. What is it that you do again? Oh right, you’re a writer-”

A throat clearing broke the chatter causing the clan to turn and see the red-heads that had somehow snuck up on them. Molly Weasley stood there, with a grin a good lot of her children inherited, while her children snickered around her.

“She vanished you bald, Lee?” The twins asked in unison, causing Ash to break away from where she was tugging on her father’s shirt. She, ignoring the pang of _something_ that always came with interacting with the Weasleys, greeted their glee with giant grin.

“Yea, and I was only three and Lee looked-”

“Absolutely handsome.” Lee cut off his cousin with a sneer, puffing out his chest. The twins and Ash shared a glance before breaking out in rambunctious laughter, which spread through both families.

The train’s whistle blew, causing the families to jump. The all shared a look before a manic energy took over both families.

“Fred, George. I better not get a _single_ letter from-” Molly’s voice had gone a bit shrill in tone.

“Lee, please don’t try find more bugs in-” Attis’ voice was mostly resigned in nature.

“Ash.” Hestia’s soft voice only wobbled a little to her credit as she drew her daughter into her embrace. Parker wrapped his arms around both of his girls, causing Ash to squeeze her face between both of her parents. She breathed in their scents of their home, laundry detergent and the faint scent of lemon from the tree in their yard.

They broke apart and seemed to stare at each other for a lifetime, before Hestia knelled down before her daughter.

“I know you, Rose. Don’t go trying to save anyone at the risk of yourself, flower.” Hestia’s eyes gleamed in the light with unshed tears. Parker placed a gentle hand on his daughter head, causing her to glance up at him.

“Knock them dead, love. Don’t let anyone snuf that fire out in you, Galatea.” Parker’s use of her old name jolted Ash, causing a whisper of another to brush against her ears. A voice that she would never forget.

Ash, blinking back tears, straightened and stared into the eyes of her parents with determination. Their earnest faces stared back at her, proud and open.

“I won’t.”

 

* * *

 

‘ _Ma ,the other kids...they...they keep tugging on my hair at school. They keep saying my hair is ugly.’_

_A small girl with cloud-like hair sat in front of her mother, who was small yet tall. The women’s hands stilled in the process of braiding the little girls hair down. With gentle hands, she pulled back the girl’s head until she was met with the sight of the tears on the little girl face._

_Immediately, she pulled the girl into her lap, brushing the tears from her face. Cradling the girl’s face with the softest touch, she spoke._

‘ _Tea, what-’_

‘ _Why-why?’ The sniff the girl released was pitiful, “ I like the way you do my hair. Makes me look like you.’_

‘ _Galatea.’ The used of her full name cause the girl to stare back into the dark brown of her mother’s, who’s eyes were filled fire._

‘ _There are people who think they have seen the best the world has to offer, so anything too different is strange and unattractive. There are people who are not gonna like you just because of how you look, talk and live. Baby, never forget: You are marble. Ready to be made. Grab your chisel and steel your nerves. Make them wish they knew the beauty within.‘_

 


	5. Chapter Five - Body Sways in Empty Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash meets a ghost, a hat, and a girl with pretty hair.
> 
>  
> 
> //i have no excuse for such a later update besides the fact that i legitimately lost my muse for this story but ALAS hogwarts mystery game sparked a flame. i've added a new chapter to the one shot series! which is basically a reflection on a new relationship we see budding here. the chapter title comes from the song Soft Offering by Hey Rosetta! Which I think is the song that comes to mind when I think about these two. also....if y'all think i'm not going to have Ash flirt with every available person...you are dead wrong lol
> 
> please note that I will be making slight changes to the previous chapters, mostly grammatical as I see them in my rereads. The same can be said about this chapter as well.  
> still no beta so sorry for any mistakes. please review!!

Ash wished the train ride had been longer. She wished that she had lingered behind with Lee and his friends instead of rushing towards the boats that would take them across the Black Lake. She wished that the lake had been ten miles wide, making their journey to the majestic castle that much longer.

 

Instead, she stood among the other students in the hall with a woman standing before them. Her severe black bun, glasses and emerald robes marked her as Professor Minerva McGonagall. She had commanded the children’s attention by clearing her throat and soon each child was subjected to her intense gaze.

 

The whispers around her immediately quieted and McGonagall began to speak. Ash knew what she was saying was important but her speech passed through Ash’s ears indistinguishably. Her gazed strayed from McGonagall to the tall doors that stared right back at her. They were bigger than what she expected and they seemed to loom over the small group.

 

The doors mocked her, big and great, as they symbolized the start of something new for Ash. Ash did not have many nerves about going to Hogwarts, more excited than anything else. Now within the castle walls with McGonagall preparing the students for their sorting, Ash felt as if she was a ghost suddenly made human.

 

“I suggest you all smarten yourselves up as much as you can while you are waiting.”

 

The words jolted Ash from her thoughts. McGonagall gave the first years a nod before turning to those great, big doors. She opened them wide, silencing the chatter within.

 

The Great Hall was as splendid as she knew it was going to be. The ceiling sparkled with the stars of the night sky, different constellation winking back at her. The hall was adorned with majestic, vibrant tapestries and drapery. The torches burned brightly enough to light the entire hall. The long, gleaming brown tables were crowded with students adorned in red, blue, yellow, and green. At the end of the grand hall stood the staff table filled with recognizable witches and wizards she would probably freak out over later.

 

All of this, Ash saw in a haze. Her gaze wondered and wondered until green-gray eyes landed on an innocuous stool with an incredibly old brown hat laying across the seat.

 

Ash felt out of breath. Ash knew that her robes were not too tight. She _knew_ this but it felt like her skin was stretched thin. She felt as if she was going to bust out of her robes and spill out all over the Great Hall floors for everyone to see.

 

The ugly hat opened its mouth to sing and Ash suddenly felt like her ears were stuffed with cotton. She saw the hat mouthing words, she saw everyone staring at the hat, and yet.

 

It wasn’t painful, just annoying as if she was waiting for her ears to pop. She recalled the last time this had happened to her:

 

_Gleaming silver eyes staring back at her from her place at the door._

 

She immediately pulled herself out of memory and brought her hands up to her ears to rub at them gently, but the feeling persisted. Annoyed, she took her eyes off the hat and dropped them to the ground below her. She stared down at the stone beneath her feet only to realize that she was staring down at a bloody _face_.

 

The scream she released was loud and bloodcurdling, cutting across the end of the hat’s song and gaining the attention of everyone in the hall. The kids around her jumped away from her in shock and Ash scrambled to get away, tripping over her new long black robes. She landed hard on her butt with the cold of the stone seeping into her very bones. She could only stare, eyes wide and mouth stretched open with her scream, as the ghost finished rising out of the ground.

 

The ghost was off gray, male, and absolutely drenched in silvery blood. His soaked robes were rumbled and his hair messy as if someone had roughly tugged their hands through it. He lingered, looming over Ash with the emptiest eyes she had ever seen.

 

‘ _This is the Bloody Baron.’_ , She thought faintly, unable to break eye-contact with the ghost as his lips formed a mockery of a smile. The smile made her feel as though she could hear the blood dripping from his robes as he drifted just the slightest bit closer to her.

 

She drew in breath to scream again when a throat cleared loudly, cutting through the strange silence that fell over the hall. Bloody Baron turned towards Dumbledore, the culprit, while Ash tried to force her limbs to move. She didn’t dare take her gaze off the ghost who had slowly drawn his gaze back to Ash. Someone then grabbed her elbow and tried to pull her from the ground when the Baron slowly drifted back down into the ground, not once taking his empty eyes off of Ash.

 

Finally back to her feet and feeling as though every one of her limbs were shaking, Ash tried to turn to the person who helped her, a Ravenclaw prefect it seemed from the gleaming badge, to thank them when she noticed all of the eyes on her. She caught Lee’s eyes from the across the hall, her cousin’s eyes wide and his mouth gaping. She could see his mouth moving in the shape of her name when the sound of another throat clearing brought everyone’s attention to McGonagall.

 

It seemed she had unrolled the parchment during the queer silence after the Baron’s departure, as she peered out at the students from over the top of her glasses. She made direct eye-contact with Ash before giving the girl a firm nod that had Ash straightening her spine.

 

“We will now proceed with the sorting.” She glanced down at the list in her hands.

 

“ _ **Katie Bell.”**_

 

A small brunette came forward from the small crowd of first years and began the sorting. Ash clenched her fist, determined not to look shaken from what just occurred. She could hear her teeth grinding in her mouth, frustrated with embarrassing herself like that. She was well aware of the presence of ghosts at Hogwarts, from both Lee’s stories and her previous knowledge of the series.

 

So why had she reacted like that to seeing the Bloody Baron? And why had he _smiled_ at her like that? Could he...tell that something wasn’t right with her? Could _all_ of them-

 

A shoulder brushed lightly against her own, breaking her from her spiraling thoughts. Ash turned to her right where she saw an Asian girl with the prettiest black hair she’d ever seen and an endless dark gaze. Their eyes met and the girl ducked behind her gleaming curtain of hair and shifted away from where she had bumped Ash.

 

Peaking slightly from behind her hair, the girl began to speak.

 

“Y-you okay?” She stammered out the words, her Scottish accent caused Ash’s heart to skip. She was always a sucker for an accent. Thankful once again for her darker skin hiding her hot face, Ash flashed a bright grin at the girl. The girl pulled her hair behind her ear and gave a small smile back at Ash.

 

“Yea, yea. Baron just scared the piss out of me.” Ash snickered, defaulting to a crude joke. Fortunately the girl didn’t take offense as she laughed a soft laugh that danced in the air around them. Green-gray eyes took in the girl’s face, feeling as though she..recognized her from somewhere.

 

“My name’s Ash.” Ash said softly, after their light laughter had died down. The girl’s smile widened before she opened her mouth to speak.

 

“ _ **Cho Chang**_ **.** ”

 

Both girls jumped. The girl gave Ash a sheepish look before she maneuvered through the small crowd of first years to make her way to the stool. Ash could only gape at Harry freaking Potter’s first crush as she barely placed hat on her head before the ugly thing shouted “ **RAVENCLAW.** ”

 

‘ _Fuck.’_ , Ash thought as she finally noticed the dwindling number of kids around her, a depressing observation considering the small amount of kids could only be a result of the previous wars lasting impact. It also meant that Ash’s turn at sorting was happening very, very soon.

 

Ash didn’t know what house she wanted to be in, or what house she thought even suited her. She didn’t want to make another spectacle of herself after the Baron, but she had a feeling that _something_ was going to happen, regardless of her attempts to prevent it. She watched another girl take a seat at the stool, vaguely envious of the ghosts’ ability to sink into the floor and vanish.

 

‘ _Gryffindor would be great, I’d be with Lee and the Weasleys_ ,’ She thought to herself, ‘ _but...they’re all so...loud. All the sorting quizzes always put me in Hufflepuff or Slytherin. This is real though. This is very real._ ’

 

“ _ **Ash Jordan.**_ _”_

 

She forced herself to break through the little crowd and walked toward the stool. She made the briefest eye contact with Dumbledore as she grabbed the old hat and immediately broke out into a cold sweat.

 

‘ _What the fuck, Ash? Get it together, you grown ass adult in a small body.’_ She berated herself as she sat down on the stool. She looked up one more time and saw Lee and the twins with silly, ugly faces. She released the slightest laugh underneath her breath before her gazed traveled again. As her gaze shifted around the table, a dark blue gaze peered back at her. Charlie was sitting toward the front of the Gryffindor table, making it easy for him to maintain eye-contact with her as she pulled the hat onto her head. Before the flap could completely block her gaze from the rest of the hall, Charlie gave her the briefest smile that made everything else just seem easier.

 

So with his smile in mind, Ash was plunged into darkness.

 

 **Hm...this is most curious.** The voice still made Ash jump, despite being fully prepared for the damn talking hat. A gravely chuckle echoed across her mind before it spoke again.

 

 **Prepared, were you? Now let’s see...where shall I put you?** Ash couldn’t help but think of her cousin’s grinning face before her dreams were promptly destroyed as the hat tsked at her.

 

 **What is the safest option is not always the best one, my dear.**  The hat's weird fondness that she could almost feel unnerved Ash.

 

 **...You** **are certainly cunning. Slytherin would do you very well, my dear. The Baron...hm. I see. Oh no no, that’s not right. Let’s see, let’s see. Oh? Hufflepuff...I see. You are certainly hardworking, and you have loyalty in spades. But just? Maybe..I mean no offence, my dear, but you are a bit too….selfish to truly thrive in the house of badgers. But you’re cleverness? And wit? Considering how you’ve gotten here right at this moment...Oh yes. Rowena would have _loved_ you. It would best be-**

 

“ **RAVENCLAW.”** Ash practically threw the hat off her head, causing it land precariously back on the stool with the slightest indignant noise. She hopped off the stool and caught her cousin’s eye once again. He seemed disappointed but cheered for her loudly as if the hat had really screamed Gryffindor instead.

 

“That’s my smart little Ashy Ash!”

 

“Shut up, Lee!” Ash shouted back, as she made her way to the cheering table decked in bronze and blue. She sat next to Cho freaking Chang who greet her with a bright smile. She flipped her long hair over her shoulder and leaned in closer to Ash, their shoulders brushing against one another.

 

“I had really hoped you would come here. You have a pretty smile.” Ash blinked at the girl in response, feeling her face get hot, before she grinned back at her.

 

“Whoa, Miss. Chang. Are you flirting with me? We’re much too young-” Cho immediately released a peal of laughter that made Ash want to make her laugh for the rest of her life. Her cheeks flushed adorably, as she threw her head back with her hair catching the light of the torches.

 

As her new friend’s laugh danced around her ears, Ash risked a glance over her shoulder at the Gryffindor table only to immediately find a dark blue gaze staring back at her. Charlie’s smile was still there and he lifted a hand up to give her the dorkiest thumbs-up she had ever seen.

 

She couldn’t help but grin, even as she rolled her eyes in response. She turned back to Cho only to see the girl's gazed directed toward her with a wicked gleam that Ash would come to dread and know very well.

 

“What?” She said, going for casual but the word came out kind of strangled.

 

“Who’s the hottie?” Cho practically purred the words out, turned in her seat to blatantly stare at Charlie who awkwardly waved back.

 

“Cho, no. Turn back around. Merlin’s saggy balls, I’ve known you maybe a half hour and you’re already embarrassing me.”

 

“We’re going to be the best of friends, Ash. The _best.”_ Ash thought it sounded vaguely like a threat and wondered where the stammering pretty girl went.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Later on, the two girls laid in bed in their brand new dorm. With the moon as a beautiful night light, Ash could see Cho in the bed beside her own. They started at each other as they listened to deep breathing of the other girls in their dorm.

 

“Ash...” Cho whispered into the air between them. “You alright?”

 

Ash smiled softly at the girl with the pretty hair before she closed her eyes.

 

“Yea, Chocobo. I’m alright.”

 

 


	6. Chapter Six - Lifting A Fog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash reflects and thirsts.

Lee always called Ash a nerd. For as long as they both understood what the word meant.

 

He meant it in a way most older familial figures did. He meant it to tease or to irritate Ash just for the hell of it. She never took it seriously, even though she did spend a large amount of time reading. How could she not? She was in a world she had only dreamed of. Ash was a curious person by nature, and her family feed into this by often gifting her books for birthdays and other holidays.

 

But not only did Ash read, she was also _clever_. She was the brains behind most of her and Lee’s schemes growing up and the reason why they never got caught after their pranks despite the fact that everyone _knew_ it was them. It was a product of having a lifetime of memories and experiences to drawback on when things got a little confusing to her. She did not have to ‘grow-up’ like the rest of her peers.

 

Did it always work out in her favor? Hm. Not so much.

 

“ _ **Ms.**_ _ **Jordan**_.” The stern voice and the elbow in her side jolted Ash out of her very nice nap. She lifted her head from the desk sluggishly, rubbing at her eyes. Pulling her hands away from her eyes, she blinked down at an exasperated Professor Filius Flitwick. He stood in the middle of the Charms classroom on top of his books, hands on his hips as he directed a stern look at Ash.

 

“Since my lesson has bored you to sleep, Ms. Jordan, I can presume you already know the lesson,” Professor Flitwick fumed, eyebrows drawn down with disappointment. Ash cringed, realizing that she had fallen asleep in her lessons. _Again_.

 

“What is the connection between Mount Vesuvius and _Tarantallegra_?” Flitwick questioned with tight lips.

 

Ash blinked before she turned her gaze to the ceiling of the classroom as if it would give her the answer. Around her, she heard the other Ravenclaw and Slytherin students snickering under their breath. Cho, who sat next to her on one side, sighed loudly before Ash opened her mouth to speak.

 

“Zaccaria Innocenti, in 79 AD, directed the charm towards Mount Vesuvius, conjuring a dance that triggered its eruption and killed over a thousand people.” Ash declared blandly, as if she was reading it straight from a text.

 

She blinked again when she finished and turned her gaze back towards the professor. The snickers had stopped and Professor Flitwick looked a strange mix of exasperated and frustrated.

 

They stared at each other for a moment, before Flitwick directed his gaze to the entire class.

 

“Correct, Ms. Jordan. Five points to Ravenclaw...but do see me after class. A foot on the dangers of the Dancing Charm, along with its uses due next period.” As if summoned by his words alone, the bell rung signaling the end of class. The students rushed to leave the room towards the Great Hall for lunch. Cho, finished with packing up her bag, lingered a moment beside Ash.

 

“I’ll save you a seat in the hall.” She promised, sighing a little. Ash could only sheepishly grin back, saluting her as Cho made her way to the door. She stared after her longingly until Professor Flitwick cleared his throat loudly. Turning towards the small professor, Ash directed her sheepish grin to her Head of House.

 

“Professor, I sincerely apolo-”

 

“Ms. Jordan, this is the third time in the past two weeks you’ve fallen asleep during my class. I’ve gotten reports from other professors that you have also taken to sleeping during their classes. If you didn’t have such a clear understanding of the materiel, I would be very concerned about your grades.” Flitwick had came down from his stack of books to stand before Ash, no longer stern but Ash thought he looked concerned now.

 

“Is everything...alright?” He asked cautiously, which made Ash grimace. She had been at Hogwarts for about a month now and it was great, lovely, and any other positive adjective. The thing was...Ash couldn’t sleep. She stared at the drapery above her bed more than she dreamed. It was as if now that she was at Hogwarts, she didn’t know what to do with herself. She spent nearly a decade stressed about going to this school, preparing herself for it by grabbing hold of any kind of information she could grasp, and making silly little plans to maybe do something about the plot.

 

She didn’t know if there was something she should actually do or something she could do. Sure, she didn’t want Sirius to die, and certainly not Fred or Dobby or-

 

She cut that train of thought off quickly. Ash was just a child now and she was still coming to terms with that, even after all these years. She was a child with a family that loved her and supported her, a family that made sure to emphasize that Ash did not inherit some responsibility to ‘fix’ this story. A story that was no longer a story. This was her life. Ash was accepting that she was, simply put, an extra dash of salt on top of the plot.

 

She had spent the last couple of weeks in a bit of a daze, as if coming down from an adrenaline rush with no way to get rid of the excess energy. So, as a result, she didn’t sleep.

 

“I think I may be struggling with transitioning to Hogwarts from home, Professor.” Ash answered, struggling to maintain her sheepish grin. “I’ll try to get some more sleep at night. This won’t happen again.”

 

Professor Flitwick stared at her long enough for Ash to shift awkwardly before he spoke.

 

“See that it doesn’t, Ms. Jordan. You’re an incredibly bright student. Between me and you, I think you’re a shoe-in for the top spot of your year,” He said this with a proud gleam in his eye that made Ash’s face get hot.

 

“If you need anything, and I mean anything, see me immediately. Madam Pomfrey may have something if you’re having trouble sleeping. Now run along and join Ms. Chang for lunch.” He finished with a slight smile.

 

Ash smiled back at him before she made her way out of the classroom. As the door shut behind her, she closed her eyes and leaned against it with a sigh. She, suddenly, desperately wished for her mother. Her first one. The one that smelled like a mix of coconuts and shea butter. The one who didn’t hug her often, but always walked into her room at the end of the night so they could talk about their days together. The one who woke up the entire house every Sunday morning singing because Sundays were the days they all cleaned the house together. The one always complained about her bad knee when it rained. The one who always had a joke when things went to shit.

 

She missed her mom.

 

“...Ash...are you alright?” Ash came out of her thoughts when a hand clasped down on her shoulder. She looked into a concerned pair of dark blue eyes. Charlie stood in front of her and stared back at her apprehensively, moving closer to her once he got her attention.

 

It was only then that she realized that she was crying. She quickly brought her hands up to wipe her face, horrified at the fact that she was openly crying in the middle of the corridor.

 

“Yup, sorry. Just had a laugh that made me a bit weepy, yea?” Ash mumbled out quickly, words crashing into each other as she shrugged Charlie’s hand off her shoulder. She, with dread filling her veins, could see him opening his mouth to speak again. She moved to dart past him and her heavy school bag, swinging with her momentum, thumped against his leg harshly.

 

“Ouch! Ash, just wait a sec-” Charlie growled out between clenched teeth.

 

“Cho is waiting for me! Gotta go!” Ash laughed out the word nervously, never looking back as she made her way down the corridor. She heard Charlie still calling for her as he, no doubt, limped his way after her. She rushed down the stairs, never breaking her stride until she made her way into the Great Hall.

 

As she made her way toward where she could see Cho waving her down, she made eye-contact with Lee at the Gryffindor table. It was apparent he had been in the middle of telling some kind of story as his mouth gaped unattractively at her, eyes wide with concern. Lee always knew when something was wrong, without her even opening her mouth. She cursed the fact that Cho had chosen seats that gave her cousin a direct view of her weird post-crying face.

 

Spotting a seat across from Cho that allowed her to turn her back to her cousin, she sat down. She looked around her table before pulling her wand out of the bun she had wrangled her hair into that morning. Cho was chatting with both Marietta and Roger which allowed Ash to cast a light _Scourgify_ on her face, further removing the evidence of her tears. Sighing in relief, she lifted her eyes back up only to be met with Cho’s scrutinizing gaze.

 

“Was that _Scourgify_? I’m certain that’s not a first year spell. Just how far ahead in material are you, Ash?” Cho questioned, eyes narrowed with suspicion.

 

Ash, mildly thankful she wasn’t questioning why she casting the spell in the first place, opened her mouth to snark back at her when, for the second time that day, a hand dropped on her shoulder. Ash watched Cho’s gaze flick to the hand then to the person the hand was connected to. Ash tensed as Cho smirked in a way that told Ash exactly who was touching her.

 

“I may have let her read some of my old textbooks this past summer,” The deep voice brushed the top of Ash’s head and caressed her ears in a way that made her shiver.

 

 _Fuck Charlie Weasley_ , Ash thought as she tried to once again to shrug his hand off her shoulder. The hand only tightened briefly in response.

 

“I hope you don’t mind that I borrow Ash for a second.” Without waiting for any response, Charlie lifted Ash from her seat, causing her to release an undignified squawk that echoed loudly in the Hall.

 

“Put me down, you muscled BRUTE!” Ash spat out, trying her hardest not to scream at the stubborn boy. She felt like a cat hanging in the arms of its owner which was ridiculous because Charlie was not even that tall!

 

“Brute?” Charlie chuckled as he placed her down at the Gryffindor table. They all poorly hid their amusement, with the exception of Percy who berated Charlie for his display. Ash avoided everyone’s gaze, especially Lee’s, and primly began to fill a bowl with soup.

 

“You noticed Charlie was muscled, eh Ash?” Fred said with a grin that made Ash want to swing the ladle at his face.

 

“I also noticed you smell like you bathe in Frog Spawn Soap, if you’re really curious.” Ash grumbled, resulting in roaring laughter from poor boy’s classmates. George, wiping tears from his eyes, slapped Fred on the back in comfort as the boy sputtered. Hiding her smile with a spoonful of soup, Ash turned her gaze to her left where Lee was still watching her with those big concerned eyes. Once he saw that he had her attention, he leaned in close to whisper to her.

 

“Ash, what’s going on?” He murmured, reaching for the pumpkin juice in the jug near her bowl.

 

“Lee. It’s nothing, really. I just...miss my mom.” Ash whispered back, hoping everyone was distracted by laughing at Fred. Lee immediately picked up on the fact that she said ‘mom’ and not ‘mum’. It was a small difference, but the Jordan family were all perfectly aware of how different Ash was. Lee, especially, was someone who Ash had turned to when she was overwhelmed with being a part of this world now.

 

Finished with pouring his drink, he wrapped his arm around Ash, pulling her into a one-armed hug that made her close her eyes briefly. She turned her face into his shoulder and breathed in the scent of her cousin. The smell of the oils he used in his hair and the peach candies his father always bought him.

 

 _He must have gotten a care package recently_ , She thought as she pulled away from him. He flashed a brilliant grin at her and Ash did not fight the urge to grin back at him. Bringing her attention back to her lunch, she felt Charlie brush against her lightly, never turning away from his conversation with Percy.

It was in that moment she began to feel like she was going to be alright with whatever happened in the future.

 

* * *

 

 

“So you’re commentating this year?” Ash gushed at Lee as she watched him chug a cup of tea. The air was filled with excitement as the student body prepared for the first Quidditch match of the year. The tension between the Gryffindors and Slytherins was palpable with Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff awkwardly caught between the two tables in the hall. Ash had chosen to sit with her cousin who had just given her splendid news.

 

“Yea, Professor McGonagall is going to be in the box with me but she said she’d give me free rein.” The two shared a grin that made the rest of the table grimace slightly. They had been waiting for this moment since Lee learned the commentator for the matches was graduating last year.

 

“Any chance I can sneak in there with you?” Ash asked eagerly, leaning over into her cousin’s personal space. Lee mashed his hand into her face, pushing her away from him.

 

“Lee!” Ash sputtered out, slapping his hand away.

 

“What? So you can admire Charlie’s arse from the box? Don’t think I didn’t notice how you’ve been looking at him down the table. You’ve even dressed up a bit!” Lee chuckled loudly, gaining even more attention from other students at the table.

 

Ash had tamed her curly coils into a half up, half down style, with the top styled into a braided bun with the rest coiling along her shoulders. She briefly remembered Cho’s teasing as Ash deliberated on her outfit of a fitted dark red turtleneck with a buttoned denim skirt she had charmed gold in order to show her support. With her sweater tights and chunky boots, Ash was dressed to impress. Not that she needed her cousin to point that out to anyone. She shot a fierce glare at her laughing cousin, face hot.

 

“I am _not_ trying to look at anyone’s arse and certainly not Charlie’s!” Ash shrieked at Lee, who’s grin only widen. Ash wiped out her wand to curse her cousin who, cackling, ducked down and ran out the hall. She watched him go, irritated with her cousin’s need to constantly embarrass her.

 

“You shouldn’t make it so easy for him, Ash.” Cho sighed as she stood from her place at the Ravenclaw table behind Ash. Ash huffed at her as she turned back to the table.

 

“It is a _nice_ arse though.” Katie laughed, watching Ash tuck her wand back into her pocket. Ash could feel her lips pull into a sheepish smile.

 

“Yea, it is but I’m just really excited to see him play! We had pick up games all the time during the summer, but Charlie would never play with the rest of us. I’ve never even seen him play. I heard he’s an unbelievable Seeker. They say that scouters are coming this year to watch him play. Can you imagine? I heard even Puddlemere United are interested in Charlie!”

 

As she spoke, Ash’s words came out faster and faster. She leaned over the table as her hands gesticulated wildly as she expressed her excitement for the upcoming game. Cho and Katie blinked at the girl, as she continued going without prompting.

 

“I was taking notes on Slytherin’s rooster this year, and they’ve got a decent lot over there. Wood is gonna have a hard time with that new Chaser they’ve got- What’s his name? Biggins? Biggs?” Ash pondered.

 

“Don’t got much faith in us, do ya?” The Scottish burr came from behind her, abruptly cutting her off. Ash wiped around and saw who could only be Oliver Wood with his captain. Charlie smirked down at her, while Oliver shifted on his feet with an awkward look to him.

 

“Oh no!” Ash rushed out, horrified that they heard her stupid rambling. Ash always lost herself in her thoughts when it came to Quidditch. It was often embarrassing when her parents would take her to games and her father had to constantly remind Ash to quiet down her mumbling of stats as she watched the games.

 

“I think you guys have a really good chance of getting the cup this year,” Ash lied with a smile, knowing perfectly well Gryffindor was going to continue their losing streak for the Cup this year. “Sorry, mate. I just get a bit lost in my head when it comes to Quidditch. Bit of fanatic, honestly.”

 

Oliver sagged a bit in relief, encouraged by her words, and directed a handsome smile at Ash which made her blink back at him. Is it a per-requisite for Quidditch to be ridiculously attractive?

 

“Are you guys making your way to the pitch?” Katie asked, “We’ll join you guys.” The girls stood up, with Katie making her way toward Oliver. The left behind trio stood there for a moment,awkwardly staring at each other.

 

“Well, you know, I just remembered Roger said he would save me a seat at the game. Actually, I think I hear him calling me right now.” Cho chirped, wiping her hair over her shoulder as she about faced and walked away without a single look back. Ash gaped at her as Charlie chuckled under his breath.

 

“We should get going.” He beamed at her, with his stupid face and his stupid nice smile. Ash grimaced back at him as they made their way to the pitch. There was a queer silence that Ash had no idea how to break. She wanted to wish him luck, she wanted to thank him for what he did a while ago, but mostly she just wanted to run. She hated awkward silences.

 

They had made their way to where the Keeper and Seeker had to break off to make their way to their locker room. Katie was gone and it seemed as though Oliver had already made his way into the room. The two stood there, staring at each other for a moment as if waiting for something. Ash couldn’t take it anymore.

 

“Charlie-”

 

“Ash-” Both spoke at the same time, which caused them to laugh. Their laughter cleared the awkwardness away and Ash smiled up at Charlie.

 

“I-I just wanted to say this properly, I g-guess,” She stammered before she took a deep breath. “Thank you for helping me a couple weeks ago. And I’m sorry, I totally looked like a tosser for hitting you with my bag.”

 

“W-wait, you mean, you hit me on purpose?” Charlie sputtered out, indignantly.

 

“And I just wanted to let you know that I really appreciated it,” Ash continued as if Charlie hadn’t spoken. “and I wanted to wish you luck on the game! I’m very excited to see you play today!”

 

Charlie blinked down at Ash before a soft smile spread across his face. Ash could feel her face get hot in response and darted her gaze to the wall beside Charlie’s head in embarrassment. Why the hell did he have to look like that?

 

A hand on the top of her head caused her to peak up at Charlie, who was still smiling that soft smile at her.

 

“You’re welcome, Ash. Besides, you’re basically my little sister at this point. I gotta take care of ya like I do the rest of them.” Charlie’s smile turned into a light laugh. He rubbed the top of her head softly before he made his way into the locker room.

 

Ash gaped at his disappearing back.

 

“Sister?!? What the hell does he mean _SISTER_!?” Ash barked at empty air, hands flying up to her hair to make sure it was still neatly in its bun. Not for the first time, Ash cursed her younger body.

 

“I cannot believe-Sister? What kind of bull-”

 

“Ash! There you are. Katie and Roger are at the seats and the game is about to start-”

 

“Chocobo! I’m like his _sister_? We’re only _five_ years apart. What the hell kind of-”

 

“Who’s sister? Ash, what are you- You can’t go into the locker room!”

 


End file.
